fever?

i was not feeling okay then, my head was throbbing, and it seems i caught a fever. i felt so tired and lonely, lonely? i can't explain why i felt it, it seems that there's something going on that not on my liking. i liked to cry hard, but it confuses me, why? and then, there goes the answer, they were walking together while i'm drifting away to the fever that i'm into. i tried to be strong and face the reality that mocking me, but i'm so tired to do it. i just settled to the thought that, it can wait for tomorrow, explanations should be heard. but i can't stop my hands fingernails pressing the keys of my cp, sending him the anger, pain and misery that i'm into. silence were the answer. i cursed, i cried and i hit. but it never subsided the pain and never erases the scene that i had seen. i tried again to send him messages,asking for explanations and clarity, again, silence answered me.i lost hope with it, i thought i had.

i reach out. but he ignored me
i humbled myself. but he don't seemed to care at all
i threw my pride. but he never looked
i tried. and he left


now, that i see it clearly now, i'm creating a world that where he doesn't existed. much better. i can stand the pain now, i can control the anger and i can make myself believe that we haven'tbeen.